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Re: Re: Re: Re: Lazy Arborists

Arborist@concentric.net
Fri, 31 Oct 1997 21:03:10 -0600


HAPPY HALLOWEEN EVERYBODY,

Welcome to my DARK, EVIL, corner of GOTHIC.
This week we'll sacrifice a goat,Dorse,(part dog,part horse)
frog, 2 insects and a real big fax machine!

OK Tim,
I'll answer your QQQQQQuestiojns,
Will I top a tree? For what reason?

EX#1
This thing needs a good 20' off, it's too tall.
Too tall? FOR WHAT? You see sir cut 20' off & she's
sucker out real pretty like!!
DING,DING, DING...Yes sir, you're correct.

EX#2
Well you said "topped" on the phone,
you just want the leaders over the house removed?
Cust: Yep, I want it trimmed, hey your the expert.

Ex#3
Topped or pollarded?
Pollarded, we'll be back every year to maintain this
tree,and at no charge we'll do the mexican hat dance.

Ex#4
So you want 20' off, round it over, cut the hell out of it.
Good ole'G.I., damn straight.
Why top it?, it will die in 2-3 years.
Cust. ans.
You've done all my tree work for 10 years now,
if you don't want to work for me any more just say so!
ME:
Hey is that your daughter? Whooa, she's hot!
Cust: Hey, leave now!
Me: In car, where did I loose him?

Ex:5
Cust: This white oak is 50% dead(about 70' tall)
The power company trenched the roots, can we
make it shorter(won't reach the house if it fell) so it will support wild life?
ME: Wild life? When can I move in?

Big trees don't scare me, unsafe trees DO scare me,
i.e. dead, pulpie trunk, sinking a 2 3/4" gaff all the
way & it won't support your weight.
Did you complete a root collar inspection?
If not, let's not climb or work at all!

Signed

\ Fang wolfgang Clawburg